You have been erased!!!

Disaster struck in office on Monday. My computer refused to boot. I have three machines in my cube. I use two of them for (secret...wink, wink) developmental activities. The third is for communicating with the outside world. It is my email machine, the machine I use for browsing the net and, since the last few months, also the machine I use for blogging. In short, it is my lifeline. So of course, it had to be the machine to conk out. I had to spend a three days out of touch with the world. Not that it bothers me the least, I am only too happy to be left alone. But work suffered. I have got a new hard disk now and am back online. However, I have lost all personal data that was on the old disk. This includes online passwords, bank and credit card passwords and statements, pictures and everything else I had accumulated in the last three years that I have been using this machine. Its like the soft copy of the last three years of my life has been erased. Feels funny. Strangely enough, what I am most bothered about is the loss of a Eva Mendes wall paper that I had set as desktop background. It was a beautiful black and white portrait of the lady. I spent last evening looking for that wall paper all over the net but did not find it. Passwords and statements I can find again, but beauty lost once is lost for ever. I think I will now switch of the computer and spend some time mourning my loss. In case you haven't guessed already, I love Eva Mendes...

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Cinema: Mere Baap Pehle Aap

MBPA is probably the first film to show a father fantasising about his son dancing with lots of semi-nude women. Unfortunately thats the only interesting thing in the entire movie. MBPA is one of those movies which make you think more about what could have been than what has been. It is full of interesting sub-plots that have not been realised. It seems like Priyadarshan had lots of plots in his mind and could not decide which to make a movie out of till the end. As a result the focus of the movie changes from one scene to the next and justice is done to none. MBAP start of well enough. We see two friends past middle age, Rane and Mathur, who set out in search of a bride for Mathur. They encounter a series of hillarious misadventures with a strict cop, ACP B.B. and we think the movie is about to carry the adventures further. But then enters Rane's son and takes him away. We see a nice little family of two where the traditional roles are reversed and the son is the father's guardian. Now we expect the story to develop along those lines. But then enters an anonymous woman who stalks the son and claims to have been wronged by him in the distant past. But this story is disposed off hastily and the father is made to meet a woman from his past. At this point the film loses its way completely. Suffice to say that at the end of the mandatory three hours both father and son pass their agnipariksha and live happily ever after. Throught this time all I could think of were the half a dozen other movie that could have been made from each of the sub-plots. Take the story of Mathur and ACP B.B.. Everytime Mathur goes in search of a bride he ends up being hauled up by B.B.. Their story would have been interesting. Instead, we are merely told towards the end that Mathur has convinced B.B. to marry him and thats about it. Or the story of the father and the son in reversed roles. That would have been a first for the Hindi film indutry. But we don't get that either. And by the way, the baap here is the one who wants to get married while others don't want him to - exactly opposite to what is conveyed by the title and the promos.

Of the actors Om Puri is the worst. He is extremely irritating. He looks very uncomfortable (as he should) in a meaningless role dancing on beaches with babes in bikinies and leering at any woman who happens to be in front of him. He is only funny when he is with Archana Puran Singh as B.B. This is the first time I have liked this lady in any movie. She is the only one I felt sorry about. The charactor was tailor made for her and she was doing justice to it before being edited out of the movie. Akshaye Khanna and Paresh Rawal were competent as usual but they deserve a flop this time just for signing up for this movie. Genelia does not have much to do. I can't really find fault with the actors when they don't even have a story to back them up. All my venom is reserved for Priyadarshan. He has been going downhill since Hungama. This movie continues his descent. I just can not understand what he was thinking when making MBPA. Somebody should tell him that just having Rawal and Akshaye in a movie does not make it a comedy.

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A wall paper for programmers

I found a forgotten wall-paper when cleaning my hard drive of junk today. It is so hilarious I had to put it up here. It is a list of possible icons for various HTTP client error codes. I don't remember where I got it from. If I did I would have acknowledged it. Please let me know if I am violating any copyrights.



For illiterates: HTTP codes are the mysterious numbers you see on your browser when you are not able to access a web page. These numbers tell you (or will tell you if you have the sense to interpret them) what the problem is. For example, 404 means the page (or resource) you requested could not be found.

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Cinema: Aamir

Why would a terrorist organization go to all the trouble of forcing an unwilling man to commit a terrorist act by kidnapping his family when it has thousands of volunteers who would do the task willingly? That's the question that bothered me all through the movie. If you can ignore this question though Aamir is a pretty good movie. It is the kind of inexpensive no frills movie that I like. The plot is simple. The protagonist, Aamir lands in Mumbai from London. As soon as he gets out of the airport somebody throws a cell phone at him. He is wondering what to do with it when it starts ringing. Aamir takes the call. The caller tells him that his family has been kidnapped and he will have to follow certain instructions if he wants to free them. The movie follows Aamir all over Mumbai as he deals with the situation. All the action happens in half a day. One situation follows another and the action almost never lets up. It does get a little tedious for a little time in the second half before picking up again for the climax. This is mainly because of the lack of characters and dialoges. The movie concentrates exclusively on Aamir. We see only brief hazy shots of the caller on the phone. Some other minor characters turn up from time to time to help or hinder Aamir. This is not a big problem for most of the movie as Rajiv Khandelwal as Aamir is more than able to carry the film on his shoulders. He is perfect as an ordinary guy who does not understand what is happening to him. He just wants to go home to his family and carry on with his life. It is all like a bad dream for him. I especially liked the part where he finally realizes what all this is about and reacts to it. Aamir is a very well shot movie. It captures Mumbai like few movies have done. In keeping with the no frills look, there are no songs or heavy background tracks.
I have heard Aamir is actually a "remake" of a foreign film. Since I have not seen that movie I cannot comment on that. Even if it is, that does not bother me. A creatively made remake may sometimes surpass the original. Aamir is a serious effort at making a realistic suspense thriller and it has succeeded.

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Bookmarks: Elephants Can Remember by Agatha Christie

I got yet another Poirot mystery from my boss yesterday. Its called Elephants Can Remember. After reading it what I truely want to say is: I wish they couldn't. Christie is nowhere near her usual top form here. There is no real mystery for the reader here. Christie's forte is in letting the reader see all that is visible to her detective, sharing all clues with him, letting him try to figure out the puzzle on his own and still surprising him in the end. Here unfortunately, the reader is able to figure out the solution long before Poirot gets to it. I found myself struggling to concentrate on the plot after the first few chapters, a thing that rarely happens between me and Christie. One of the reasons was the distracting attempts at humour. These come from the person Mrs. Ariadne Oliver. This person is said to be a caricature of Christie herself. Now, I for one believe that caricatures do little to improve any suspense thriller. They merely loosen up the plot. I have never liked this character in any of Christie's novels and must confessed to being biased from the outset. But even by her usual standards, Mrs. Oliver was a little too irritating this time. For instance, the first three pages were devoted to describing her trying on her hats. And it is she who brings up the reference to elephants. Having made her point she, or rather Christie, should have let go of it. But elephants keep coming up in all conversations up to the point where they become tedious. So between Mrs. Oliver and elephants we somehow get to the climax in the twentieth chapter but it isn't really a climax because we already know the solution somewhere around the fifteenth chapter. And to top it all the motive for the crimes is really sentimental mush. The whole plot hinges on the fact that multiple women loved a man and he in turn loved multiple women. The ending where everybody is professing his/her love for everybody else was really embarrasing for me. For anyone not obsessed with eading all Poirot mysteries, reading this one would be an elephantine waste of time.

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Bookmarks: The Mandala of Sherlock Holmes by Jamyang Norbu

After completing Rabindranath's biography, I have run out of new books to read and have taken to rereading the old books on my shelf. The first such book was The Mandala of Sherlock Holmes by Jamyang Norbu. Norbu attempts to fill in two missing years in Sherlock Holme's life between his apparent death in The Final Problem and reappearence in The Adventure of The Empty House. By his own admission Holmes spent the two years in Tibet disguised as a Norwegian named Sigerson. Norbu takes this as his point of departure and follows Holmes in his travels in India and Tibet.

TMSH is a delightful pastiche. Jamyang Norbu has maintained seamlesss continuity from Doyle's stories in both language and atmosphere. His description of 1890s India from the bustling crowds of Bombay to the hills of Shimla is superb. His recreation of Thibet and the forbidden city of Lhasa is fabulous. My personal favourite is the passage describing the traveler's first view of the city as they enter through its gates. Norbu draws his characters from not only Doyle's stories but also from Rudyard Kipling's works, Kim being the most prominent among them. Since Watson cannot be here his shoes are filled in by Babu Hurree Chunder Mookerjee - one of Kipling's creations - who becomes the Bengali Boswell to Holmes. In fact, the tale is populated throughout with characters from Kim and the language is nearer to Kim's than to any of Doyle's works.

The book has decidedly political overtones. This is not surprising given that Jamyang Norbu is an eminent Tibetan political activist fighting for its independence. The events in the book happen in 1892, the Tibetan Water-Dragon year. This is just about the time when China was making her first moves to grab Tibet. Setting the story in this year allows Norbu to introduce a political backdrop. Needless to say, all the villains are Chinese.

TMSH is an extremely well researched book filled with interesting nuggets of information about the peoples, events and places of those times. The narrator is an enlightened Brahmo Samajist and is as such familiar with most of the prevelant philosophies and scientific theories of his times. One of the most amusing conversations in the book takes place when a character mentions that the light waves are electrical and magnetic vibrations. Though we know it to be true today, our narator, true to his times, dismisses it as bakwaas and having "nothing scientific about it"

(To be completed).

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An online conversation...

Transcript of a chat I had with a female friend of mine this afternoon. My friend requested anonymity. So I have removed my her name. Otherwise it is a word to word transcript spelling mistakes, sms lingo and all.

friend:
hi
i see you'hv been writing quite a bit:)

Rajorshi:
yes :)

Sent at 12:55 PM on Monday

Rajorshi:
u know what
this is the season for girls

friend:
as in?

Rajorshi:
most new babies are female
a frnd of mine had a girl
she is the thrd frnd to hv a girl
last year it was all boys

friend:
oh
i thot...
:)
lots of women proposing to you

Rajorshi:
i wish :(

friend:
awww
come on
with such writing
you'll be a hit among women journos

Rajorshi:
i dnt know any journos :(
neways writing is the last thing women look for

friend:
what do they look for then?

Rajorshi:
writing indicates brains/intelligence

friend:
women like that

Rajorshi:
women luk for dumbos

friend:
i thot men look for dumbos

Rajorshi:
of course they do
both luk for dumbos

friend:
waah

Rajorshi:
and since the world is full of dumbos of both sexes
nobody has any problems hooking up

friend:
and getting married

Rajorshi:
except a few poor souls like me

friend:
me too
me too:)


Sent at 4:13 PM on Monday
Rajorshi:
i thot u said u r surrounded by intelligent people in ur co. :)

friend:
yes
i am...
some women
men r married
:(

Rajorshi:
hell...
same here with women

Sent at 4:17 PM on Monday
Rajorshi:
u know wht this is a funny conversation
i will post it on my blog
after hiding names
u mind?

friend:
no:0
go ahead
but hey..
no names

Rajorshi:
yeah i said that "after hiding names"

Sent at 4:21 PM on Monday

friend:
ok

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A look at Ekta's Mahabharata ... finally

After reading post after post on Ekta Kapoor's Mahabharata on Jabberwock's blog (honestly, the guy is obsessed with it) I finally got around to seeing it this Monday. It did not disappoint. The acting is horrible, the dialogue is contrived and the direction is pedestrian. The costumes of course are ridiculous. The sets are pretty good though. At least, they are not the usual Amar Chitra Katha style sets first created by Ramanand Sagar for Ramayana and adopted by every director since.
Two things stand out among all others. One is the furious pace of the serial. It covered Dhritarashtra and Pandu's marriage, Pandu's curse and the birth of the Pandavas and the Kauravas in one episode. Coming from soap opera makers who don't make their actors utter a single word without zooming in on their faces from half a dozen different angles this is amazing. Unfortunately, it not done very gracefully. There is a rushed feeling to things here. It is as if they are telling a bed time story to the audience and are worried that the listeners will be late for bed. It also does not let the audience appreciate the significance of these momentous events which shape the epic.
The second thing I noticed was the absolute lack of screen presence in any of the actors. It is hard to distinguish between all the royal princes and princesses. All of them look alike. One can't help comparing them with the cast of B.R. Chopra's Mahabharat. Whatever the shortcomings of that serial, the casting was absolutely spot on. This serial is supposed to bring together the reigning stars of Indian television. Not that I have any respect for the quality of Indian television today but I did expect to see at least a couple of actors capable of leaving their mark on some of the characters. Seems like I was expecting too much. The only actor I did remember between scenes is Shakuni who was trying so hard to look evil that I almost felt sorry for him.
All in all, it was an humourless and empty experience.

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An old blogger and a new one

Sis has finally published her first post. Now I can add her blog to my blog roll. She has named the blog darkness. She is not very happy with it and is looking for a better name. I am really imporessed with her post. I didn't know she could write so well.

Olive Riley, said to be the world's oldest blogger has died. She was 108. I visited her blog The Life Of Riley to check it out. There are hundreds of comments, all expressing grief and offering condolences. The lady seems to have had a lot of fans. Personally, I think its all a bit of a farce. I mean, this woman never even used a computer in her life. The blog acknowladges that posts were from a documentary film maker called Eric Shackle. He and his wife used to get Ollie to tell them stories about her life and then write them down, edit them and post them. That does not make Ollie a blogger. It makes Eric Shakle a blogger. I could get my mom to talk about her life, write down whatever she says and post it regularly. That won't make her a blogger. It would be my blog. At best, it would be a blogumentary (I think I have coined a new term here).

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I've got plenty of common sense...

I am a huge fan of Clavin and Hobbes. Here I have collected some of my favourite quotes from Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin: People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

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Calvin: Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

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Calvin: Dad, Look! The sun's setting and it's only 3 o'clock.
Dad: It's not 3 o'clock. Your watch stopped.
Calvin: Time doesn't stop if your watch stopped?
Dad: Nope.
Calvin: Phooey. For a moment there I thought I'd get rich patenting this thing.
Dad: I'D have bought one.

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Calvin: Why can't I stay up late? You guys can! IT'S NOT FAIR!
Dad: The world isn't fair, Calvin.
Calvin: I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

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Calvin: I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die.

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Calvin: I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

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Calvin: Art is dead! There's nothing left to say. Style is exhausted and content is pointless. Art has no purpose. All that's left is commodity marketing.

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Calvin: Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

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Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

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Calvin: I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by Man's destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

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Calvin: I can't sleep, Hobbes. I've been thinking.
Hobbes: About what?
Calvin: Well, I suppose there's no afterlife. That would mean this life is all you get. And that would mean I'm sitting here in bed as precious moments of my all-too-short life disappear forever.
Mum: Honey, wake up. Do you hear the television on?

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Calvin: The world is a complicated place, Hobbes.
Hobbes: Whenever it seem that way, I take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.

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Calvin: I've been thinking, Hobbes.
Hobbes: On a weekend?
Calvin: Well, it wasn't on purpose...

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Hobbes: Are you making any resolutions for the new year?
Calvin: Resolutions? ME?? Just what are you implying? That I need to change?? Well, Buddy, as far as I'm concerned, I'm perfect the way I am! For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well, tough beans! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is how I am - take it or leave it! By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how I ought to be! I don't need advice! Everyone can just stay out of my face!

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Calvin: I've got plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it.

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Hobbes: It says on the back of this record that the composer could play the piano at age three. He wrote his first symphony when he was four. That's amazing.
Calvin: When I was four, I think I was toilet trained.

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Hobbes: Let's ask the Ouija Board another question.
Calvin: OK, I've got one. Oh great Ouija Board, will I grow up to be president?
Hobbes: It's moving!
Calvin: "G... O..."
Hobbes: "D... F... O...R... B... I... D."
Calvin: When I want an editorial I'll ask for it, you stupid board!

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Calvin: I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes: I think if you're born, it's too late.

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Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin: Too few role models.

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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, SOMEbody's out to get me.

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Calvin: Who's the bimbo with you in this old prom picture?
Dad: THAT "BIMBO" IS YOUR MOTHER!

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