Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal.

When I go from hence
let this be my parting word,
that what I have seen is unsurpassable.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

I've got plenty of common sense...

I am a huge fan of Clavin and Hobbes. Here I have collected some of my favourite quotes from Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin: People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

Calvin: Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

Calvin: Dad, Look! The sun's setting and it's only 3 o'clock.
Dad: It's not 3 o'clock. Your watch stopped.
Calvin: Time doesn't stop if your watch stopped?
Dad: Nope.
Calvin: Phooey. For a moment there I thought I'd get rich patenting this thing.
Dad: I'D have bought one.

Calvin: Why can't I stay up late? You guys can! IT'S NOT FAIR!
Dad: The world isn't fair, Calvin.
Calvin: I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Calvin: I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die.

Calvin: I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Calvin: Art is dead! There's nothing left to say. Style is exhausted and content is pointless. Art has no purpose. All that's left is commodity marketing.

Calvin: Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

Calvin: I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by Man's destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Calvin: I can't sleep, Hobbes. I've been thinking.
Hobbes: About what?
Calvin: Well, I suppose there's no afterlife. That would mean this life is all you get. And that would mean I'm sitting here in bed as precious moments of my all-too-short life disappear forever.
Mum: Honey, wake up. Do you hear the television on?

Calvin: The world is a complicated place, Hobbes.
Hobbes: Whenever it seem that way, I take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.

Calvin: I've been thinking, Hobbes.
Hobbes: On a weekend?
Calvin: Well, it wasn't on purpose...

Hobbes: Are you making any resolutions for the new year?
Calvin: Resolutions? ME?? Just what are you implying? That I need to change?? Well, Buddy, as far as I'm concerned, I'm perfect the way I am! For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well, tough beans! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is how I am - take it or leave it! By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how I ought to be! I don't need advice! Everyone can just stay out of my face!

Calvin: I've got plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it.

Hobbes: It says on the back of this record that the composer could play the piano at age three. He wrote his first symphony when he was four. That's amazing.
Calvin: When I was four, I think I was toilet trained.

Hobbes: Let's ask the Ouija Board another question.
Calvin: OK, I've got one. Oh great Ouija Board, will I grow up to be president?
Hobbes: It's moving!
Calvin: "G... O..."
Hobbes: "D... F... O...R... B... I... D."
Calvin: When I want an editorial I'll ask for it, you stupid board!

Calvin: I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Hobbes: I think if you're born, it's too late.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin: Too few role models.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, SOMEbody's out to get me.

Calvin: Who's the bimbo with you in this old prom picture?

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